Anonymous asked: what should i do if i want to kill myself?
Sometimes I feel this way & I write a list of all of the little things & people that make me feel happy or calm or enchanted or inspired or hopeful. When you’re feeling bitter & your soul is aching & your heart is heavy with sorrow, it’s really hard to start this list, but if you try, you may find that by the end, emotion is flooding out of you & you’ve covered pages with all of the beauty & love that make life worth living. You’re a beautiful person who has a unique perspective of the world and the things that bring you happiness and it’s important for you to stay so your voice can be a part of the chorus. I also find that learning more about myself and cultivating myself makes me want to live more, because I put so much hard work into making me that I would hate for it to go to waste. Even when life is really tough, I know I want me to survive so I can bring happiness and complexity and creativity to the world, and make it a little better for myself and others. I also like to spoil myself when I’m feeling sad by drawing up a hot bath and making a decadent tea or cocoa or milky drink and doing my favorite things like watching my favorite movie or eating sushi or a piece of cake or going for a long walk through a garden or listening to my favorite songs (I try to pick happy ones so I don’t drown in sadness… music can really trigger your emotions). Another thing I like to do is give myself a project like deep cleaning a part of my room or making a scrapbook or writing snail mail for all of my pen pals or organizing the files on my computer, just something to keep my mind and body busy. Or maybe try meditating and just letting the sad feelings come and learning where they rise from and how to accept them with practice and quiet contemplation. Or don’t be afraid to ask for help! Tell your mom or your friend or maybe a lover or a coworker that you’re having a glum day and need to go out for a cup of coffee or a movie or ice cream or whatever you feel you need. You probably have more supportive people in your life than you think you have. If your support group is small (or even if it isn’t), i think non-medicated therapy is really valuable and important because saying things out loud and getting positive affirmation or different perspectives and insights can be so, so helpful. Even talking to yourself can work out sone of your tangles! I hope this helps, starshine, and I hope you keep fighting for happiness. Life doesn’t always get better but you do, so search for makes your heart sing and live for that! Please keep trying! I wish you all of the best.